Things in Life that Don't Really Matter

This week I was in charge of the opening reflective question for our leadership group at work.  I spent the weekend in search of something meaningful and more in-depth than a simple, "What was the most exciting part of your weekend?"  Yeah....I am not sure I will be allowed to ask the opening question on a Monday morning again!!  In my search, I came across an article by All Pro Dad entitled, "10 Things in Life That Don't Really Matter."  The author talked about different things in life that we often give undue importance to in our lives that when we step back and reflect on them, don't really matter in the grand scheme of things.  This sent my mind into reflective mode of what have I given credence to in my life that needed to go down a few rungs in the ladder of importance.

For those of you that don't know me well, I am a bit of a planner.....I can already hear my wife chuckling.  Yes I am that person who lays out their clothes a week in advance of a trip to make sure we don't forget anything.  My wife on the other hand, packs 30 minutes before we leave!!!  Talk about two different perspectives!! Haha!  Sarah always challenges that I can't relax or sit still and simply enjoy things because I am always trying to get ahead of the game and get things done.  My weekends were spent worrying about the laundry or getting the yard mowed just to make sure they were done and check them off the list.  My weekends were driven on what we needed to get done and then and only then could I begin to enjoy each day. However, with the help of my wife that has begun to change with the arrival of my two beautiful daughters.

 

 



I truly believe that values are not truly values until they have been tested.  Myself personally always prided my life on being family first and being there for my girls.  That was tested when it came time on weekends to complete the tasks of the day and get things prepared as my mind had been conditioned to do for so long, or truly spend the time with my girls.  Now I find myself not worrying so much about the yard or the laundry as Sarah and I divide and conquer the tasks together.  We also focus on completing these things as much as we can when the girls are napping.  We try more and more to worry about the precious time we have with the girls more so than how the house looks or what we have ready to go for the week.  It has given us many more experiences such as walks like these:

This has been no small step for me personally as a person who drives to themselves accomplish things to step back and truly relax.  I can't thank my wife enough for being patient with me and encouraging me along the way.  Weekends are much more enjoyable and our times together much more special.  So if you drive by the house and the yard is a little long or the leaves aren't picked up this fall, it is because I am spending as much time with my girls as I can even if it means things aren't as complete as they have been in the past.

I continue to challenge myself to reflect on what truly matters and what does not in my life.  My legacy in life won't be what I have accomplished or how much I have made, it will hopefully be the relationships I have built with my daughters and my wife with an abundance of memories to show for it.  So today reflect on what matters and more importantly what doesn't matter in your life and how you can shed that from your day and create a more meaningful life with your family.

Cutting the Cord

Yes we did it! We finally cut the cable cord a few months ago and have been loving it ever since!

 

 

Sarah and I had been talking on and on for the past year or so about cutting the cord and ditching our cable service.  At the time, we had been using AT&T Uverse for quite a few years and really had no complaints on the service other than the price.  When you added up the cost of our internet and TV service, we were paying roughly $150 a month for the two.  That adds up to an annual cost of $1800 or $18,000 over 10 years for simple internet and TV services.  Yeah let that sink in for just a minute! The crazy part of all this is the fact that we really don't watch that much TV.  In fact, we spend most of our TV watching using Neftlix to watch some of their great shows like House of Cards or Friends.

 

 

What was stopping us from ditching cable?

 

Well the main reason we never could ditch cable rested solely with me!  Guys, you will understand this point......I couldn't give up my ESPN!!!!  As crazy as it sounds, that is simply where the debate stopped every time we had this discussion.  While I may not watch a lot of TV during the week, I am a huge college football fan and the thought of not being able to watch games on ESPN in the fall always prevented me from taking the plunge.  College football is the one sport where I don't care who is playing, I am always interested in watching the games.  I knew I would not enjoy Saturdays in the fall as much without having this option to watch games on ESPN.  So inevibitaly every time we discussed cutting cable, we would never take the next step due to this reason.

 

 

Along comes Sling TV!!!

 

This past January I kept hearing about a new TV service called Sling TV that was being launched by DISH Network.  Sling would be along the lines of Apple TV providing a steaming TV service as an alternative to regular cable at a cost of only $20 a month.  The most attractive part of Sling was that it was going to include both ESPN and ESPN2 as a part of the package!!!  I began investigating to find that Sling would include these channels as part of a 12 channel lineup that also includes the likes of TNT, TBS, AMC, and HGTV to name a few.  This had me really excited and thinking it had to be to good to be true. 

 

How does it work???

 

Sling works through your internet connects and can be run on a computer or tablet, but most users would want to run it through a streaming device of some kind.  Sling works with Amazon Fire, Roku, or Xbox.  We chose to purchase a Roku after a test run on our computer to see if we liked Sling to begin with at the start.  Sling then works as an App on your Roku device that you select and then choose the channel to stream for your watching pleasure.  The Roku can work through a wired connection with your Ethernet or a wireless connection to a remote location in your home.

 

Pros

• The Channels-great selection of major networks for only 12 channels
• Cost-Can't beat only $20 a month for cable
• Ability to add other service like Hulu, Netflix, etc...through the Roku
• Easy to set up and use immediately

Cons

• Limited channel selection-No NFL Network, Big Ten, etc...
• No local channels-we purchased a HD antenna for our main TV in the house
• Wireless streaming can be spotty depending on placement in your house
• Initial purchases of Roku for each TV, antenna

Overall Review

 

If you are looking to finally cut the cord, this is definitely the way to go.  You get a good selection of channels and most importantly for guys access to ESPN and ESPN2.  We have been using the service since February and have loved the service and do not miss cable or the bill at all!!  All told Sarah and I spent roughly $180 in start up costs to get Sling running in our house for a Roku for each of the three TVs and the HD antenna.  We also switched our internet over to Comcast as they had the better price for a higher streaming internet speed However, our monthly costs for TV and internet are now $80 after taxes vs. the $150 we were paying before.  This saves us $70 a month which equates to a savings of $840 a year.  If we took that money and invested it at a 7% earnings rate, we will have a little over $12,000 in ten years!  I can definitely do without a few cable changes for those kind of savings!

As The World Turns-Just so Happens It is Really Fast

1000 Miles Per Hour-That is how fast the world actually spins on its axis.  It was also the title of my mother's favorite soap opera show when I was a child.  Finally, it is also about how fast I feel these past few months have gone since my last post.  I hate that it has been that long as I really enjoy writing this blog for as much as I hope it helps others out there, it has been very beneficial for both myself and my family.

What Have We Been Up To Lately?
Well since my last post we welcomed two beautiful girls into our lives on April 24th.  Liliana Margaret and Madelyn Rose were brought into this world by their beautiful mother about 15 minutes apart.  They have been a complete blessing to our lives and we constantly amazed at how lucky we are to have these little blessings.  Thus these girls are also the reason I have not been able to write as much as I would have love to recently.  I would love to attempt to write about their daily lives and progress, but you would be much better reading Sarah's blog about our girls to find out about that.  You can find her blog at http://sarahhession6.blogspot.com/ for all the latest updates on our girls.  Let's just say from my standpoint we have been really busy!! My hope is to have new blogs in the near future reflecting on the first few months of our lives with the girls from a dad's point of view and their are too many experiences to sum up in this one blog.

New Career Opportunity
Shortly between bringing Maddie (Madelyn) home from the NICU and traveling back and forth to see Lily (Liliana), I received a call from my superintendent asking to meet with me one day while I was home with the girls.  I was caught a little off guard by the request and I think Sarah's comment was, "You aren't going to get fired are you?"  Well no I didn't get fired, in fact I was offered a new exciting opportunity to become the next Director of Finance of the school corporation.  This was a position I had always dreamed of moving into one day, I just never thought it would happen this soon.  After some discussion between Sarah and I over the new expectations and job requirements, I accepted the position and moved into the role on July 1st.  It has been a crazy transition, but one that I have enjoyed and look forward to continuing.

What's Next?
My hope is to pick back up with my writing and sharing of being a dad of multiples and the challenges that it brings.  We knew we would go through some stressful times, but to be honest in many ways what we thought would be our biggest challenges have not been as much and others have been much more challenging than we ever could have thought.  However, it is through these ups and downs that I hope to share what we have learned and continue to learn as we walk through this path of life.

To Know or Not to Know....That is the Question!

Lately there has been a battle raging in the Gardner household between Sarah and I.  Ok maybe a little dramatic with that statement. We have gone back and forth the past couple of weeks trying to come to a decision or agreement. Each day one of swings back or forth on the issue hoping to find some common ground or a compromise.  What can't Sarah and I agree on is.....whether or not to find out the gender of the twins. 

When we first found out we were having twins, Sarah and I were both in a general agreement to find out the gender of the twins.  We felt with all of the craziness we would have going on in our lives trying to prepare for their arrival, it would be beneficial to know this ahead of time.  Recently however Sarah moved 180 degrees on me and has stated she does not want to find out the sex of the babies and instead wishes to wait until the birth.  While I was definitely shocked at this, I think the person most taken aback was Sarah's Aunt Kater.  When Sarah mentioned this to her, she was worried she wouldn't be able to buy the proper clothes for the twins!!  Let's just say Aunt Kater likes to shop!  It has brought up an interesting debate between Sarah and I about what we eventually decide.



There are pros and cons with both finding out or waiting until the birth.  I think from my side of the issue the pros were the ability to control at least something in this craziness of our new adventure.  In finding out the gender of the twins, we would be get a number of things in line for their arrival.  We would be able to prepare their nursery to each twin and have it ready for their arrival.  We would be able to speak with friends who may have clothes to match the genders of the twins to potentially save money.  We would have time to decipher the names of the twins especially if we ended up with two boys or two girls.  All of this could be done ahead of time, without everything else around us going at 100 mph.



Sarah has expressed the desire to keep things more private.  Where I tend to be more open with these things, she has a desire to keep them private between us.  Neither way is right or wrong, it is simply our own personalities we bring to the relationship.  The biggest con would be to lose the special surprise of the moment we find out what they are in the delivery room.  My worry here was to wonder if we would have that moment for just the two of us.  If we found out now, I know we would have that moment alone with the doctor and a chance to share the news as we liked.  If either of our mothers are in the delivery room, do we lose that special moment for just the two of us? 



Sarah and I continue to banter back and forth about this in a loving way, just thankful we have this opportunity.  However, it would be interesting to hear some of your thoughts.  Did you find out about the gender of the baby or not and why.  I would also be especially interested in those of you who had twins.  Otherwise we might end up with the compromise of finding out now only what one of the two of the babies are and that could get a little interesting!

Has It Hit You Yet? Part 1

I often get this question a lot from people wondering if it has set in that Sarah and I are having twins.  Each time I hear that question, I find myself asking it over and over again to myself.  The reality of things is no not really.  I mean I keep looking for the moment like Ross had with Marcel in "Friends" where Marcel grabs Ross's finger and he realizes he will be a good dad.

Well, I just haven't had that moment.  Despite all of the wonderful moments that have occurred so far, I still find myself waiting for that moment when it really sinks in that we are having twins.  I am sure at some point it will come to me and will hit me like a ton of bricks.  Honestly, I can't wait for that moment to happen.  There is so much excitement building inside of me about the arrival of our twins in May, that I long for this moment to occur.  There is no fear about twins or worry about being a good parent, it is simply wanting that aha moment.  Part of the reason is that is still very early in Sarah's pregnancy and she is just beginning to have baby bump show.  Other than that, our lives have continued like normal for the most part.  I know all of this will change soon and the realization of twin will hit me.  Until then, I continue to enjoy all the moments we share and the wonderful support we are shown each day.  Sarah recently told me in response to me sharing I haven't had that moment of realization with, "Just wait til Spring Break when we are mini van shopping and putting two car seats in the back!  Then it will hit you!"  I laughed and realized at some point it will hit me and I can't wait for that moment.  Part two to be continued....

Should I be Worried?

This past weekend was one of the most joyful days of my life as we were able to spread the word of our wonderful news.  Double Trouble.  It was a simply perfect weekend telling our friends how we were expecting twins in May and being able to share this wonderful moment with them.  It was one of the most special days of our lives. The next morning Sarah and I sat quietly together as we relived the night before and all of the wonderful moments and experiences from the evening.  It was during this time that I experienced a flashback to an similar moment from just a few months ago. 
 
It was only a short time ago that we sat there together in the living room at our old house trying to decide if we should put an offer out on a new house in Speedway.  We were both nervous on if this was the right decision considering we were not pregnant and our last IUI had failed. Ton of Bricks.  In the end, we made the leap of faith in what started a miraculous chain of events in our lives that has put us where we are today.  So in this moment, we found ourselves wondering if we should post our news about the twins out for the public to see.  The worry was.....what if something goes wrong?  We had been down that tough path before and gone through the pain of a miscarriage.  This experience unfortunately always haunts you through the pregnancy with every twist and turn after having such difficulty conceiving. What didn't help was the fact that Sarah had been to the doctor a couple of times in the last week with some issues.  Fortunately the last visit to the doctor found the twins dancing around on the ultrasound almost mocking us with "haha we got you!!!"  So there we sat wondering if we should make the news public with this fear still there in the back of our heads.  You see this is one of the lingering effects of infertility.  You do you best to stay as positive as possible, however in those moments of uncertainty or when issues arise you find yourself in an awareness of the past hopeful it does not return.

In the end we jumped with blind faith that everything will be ok and will work out for Baby A and Baby as they are now called, or Amy and Bob according to Sarah's dad.  We continue to hope and pray for their continued well being and hope that all will be well come May.  The excitement of each day and the changes with Sarah and the babies continue to help provide us with joy.  We enjoyed reading each Sunday about how big the babies are now and at the same time continue to plan for their arrival!!  Yes there is still a small part about me that worries, but in the end both Sarah and I continue to have faith above all else.

Double Trouble!

Well, it is official.......we recently received the amazing news that Sarah is pregnant and due in May!!  The even more amazing and somewhat scary part of the news is that we are expecting TWINS!!! 

Needless to say, Sarah and I are both very excited and feel very blessed!  When you look back at where we started with This is How You Have a Baby?, we feel very lucky to finally have this wonderful news.  There have been many ups and downs on this roller coaster and these babies have already put us through a few of them in the first couple of months.  Recently Sarah said that is because they are acting like their father and will continue to be a pain in the you know what!

We have been blessed by the many kind words of support from so many of you and we appreciate all the love you have shown.  We are by no means out of the woods yet and every little hiccup has us worried about what might happen.  Sarah and I continue to strive to stay positive and trust that things will work out.  All of the struggles truly show us what a miracle having a child is for so many people.

However, at the same time I write this exciting news with a touch of hesitation.  You see we still have friends and loved ones who have not received this blessing and continue to battle infertility.  Sarah and I have known that feeling to see friends posting about their wonderful news and the feelings it created for her and I.  We truly know that feeling of a Ton of Bricks coming down upon you.  For those of you reading this who have struggled with infertility like us or even those who have fought the battle much longer, we have you in our thoughts and prayers.

In the meantime, we are reading up on all the books about twins that we can and trying to wrap our heads around two babies at once!  We will definitely be in for some double trouble come this May!