This past weekend was one of the most joyful days of my life as we were able to spread the word of our wonderful news. Double Trouble. It was a simply perfect weekend telling our friends how we were expecting twins in May and being able to share this wonderful moment with them. It was one of the most special days of our lives. The next morning Sarah and I sat quietly together as we relived the night before and all of the wonderful moments and experiences from the evening. It was during this time that I experienced a flashback to an similar moment from just a few months ago.
It was only a short time ago that we sat there together in the living room at our old house trying to decide if we should put an offer out on a new house in Speedway. We were both nervous on if this was the right decision considering we were not pregnant and our last IUI had failed. Ton of Bricks. In the end, we made the leap of faith in what started a miraculous chain of events in our lives that has put us where we are today. So in this moment, we found ourselves wondering if we should post our news about the twins out for the public to see. The worry was.....what if something goes wrong? We had been down that tough path before and gone through the pain of a miscarriage. This experience unfortunately always haunts you through the pregnancy with every twist and turn after having such difficulty conceiving. What didn't help was the fact that Sarah had been to the doctor a couple of times in the last week with some issues. Fortunately the last visit to the doctor found the twins dancing around on the ultrasound almost mocking us with "haha we got you!!!" So there we sat wondering if we should make the news public with this fear still there in the back of our heads. You see this is one of the lingering effects of infertility. You do you best to stay as positive as possible, however in those moments of uncertainty or when issues arise you find yourself in an awareness of the past hopeful it does not return.
In the end we jumped with blind faith that everything will be ok and will work out for Baby A and Baby as they are now called, or Amy and Bob according to Sarah's dad. We continue to hope and pray for their continued well being and hope that all will be well come May. The excitement of each day and the changes with Sarah and the babies continue to help provide us with joy. We enjoyed reading each Sunday about how big the babies are now and at the same time continue to plan for their arrival!! Yes there is still a small part about me that worries, but in the end both Sarah and I continue to have faith above all else.
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