Five Steps to Dealing with Infertility

Recently I sat down at my computer and asked Google for sites that discussed “Dealing with Infertility.”  If my first two selections were any indication of the advice out there, I worry for those looking for help!  I do not claim to be an expert in the field of infertility, nor do I feel that my views are the only way to deal with the issues associated with infertility.  However after reading through a few articles online written by so called “experts” on the subject, I feel that none of them are written from the heart or the depths of a soul dealing with infertility.  So I sat down and wrote what I feel have been the top five steps that have helped Sarah and I along our journey with infertility.

1.      Communicate

Early in our journey I thought my job as the husband was to be the rock for the two of us.  What I learned quickly was that I was leaving Sarah more isolated than ever as she often felt she was the only one struggling through things.  My “being the rock” and lack of expressing my concerns actually hurt more than it helped.  Since that time I have learned to share my struggles with Sarah as she does with me.  We have learned to lean on each other making the tough days a little easier having each other there for one another.

2.      Get out of the house

Often times in the weeks leading up to the IUI process or especially in the two weeks after, you find your mind consumed with worry.  Worry about the unknown and what may happen often leads to sitting around feeling sorry for yourself of not living the life you should.  You must battle to get out of the house and continue to actively work to take your mind off of the questions that linger.  Go out and have fun and enjoy one another. One of the best two weeks Sarah and I went through were the days after an IUI that we traveled to Chicago.  We spent four days with friends enjoying the Windy City. During that trip our thoughts never once went to the worry of if the IUI was going to work that month or not.  Instead our minds and hearts were filled with the wonderful times of Chicago in the summer and it gave us a chance to refresh and renew our lives.  Five Things Worth Your Money in Chicago

3.      Pray

We feel fortunate for the number of you out there that have expressed your prayers for us in this process.  We continue to pray and to ask God for strength in our journey that he will one day reveal his plan for us.  At a recent Mass, the priest spoke about facing our fears in our lives.  He spoke of Peter walking on water to Jesus from the boat and how it was only when he allowed himself to take his mind off of Jesus and instead to his worry about the winds that he began to sink.  When we keep our mind and our faith on Jesus, we are able to live life without fear of the unknown.  It is only when we allow our mind to wonder from our faith that we allow our fears to instead run our lives.  Keep fast in prayer.

4.      Know that you are not alone

I know that for many people and for Sarah and me, early in the journey we felt like we were alone in our struggles and that many people out there did not know what we were going through each day.  As we have begun to share our journey and our struggles, we have had a constant flood of messages and expressions of support from those of you out there who have been through a similar journey.  There is not a week that has gone by in the past month that I have not had someone send a message of their story or stop me and offer their experience and let us know they are there if we ever need to talk.  If you are reading this blog, you hopefully know that you are not alone in your struggles.  I for one can speak to the loving community of support that is out there for those dealing with infertility.  This loving community has help provide Sarah and I with a wonderful support network during these trying times.

5.      Show and express your love for one another

The last tip that I can give is to show your love and support for your spouse during your journey.  We do not know what God’s plan is for us yet and whether or not that includes children of our own.  What I do know is that I have an amazing and wonderful wife that is there by my side throughout all of this.  These times can be trying and put stress on your marriage.  It is important to remember to continue to express your love for your spouse as these are the days and times you both need it the most.

 

Infertility if different for each couple and can have its own unique challenges and difficulties.  It is important not to forget steps like these to help you along your journey.  I feel that the past month has given me a new direction in life from God.  As I have written this blog, I have heard how many of you have been through or are going through a similar journey.  You have said how knowing someone else is growing through this has helped you start a new conversation with your spouse or look at things a little differently.  So for now I am continuing to take God’s challenge for me to be an advocate of those dealing with infertility.  What does that mean?  For now, I do not know God’s full plan.  What I do know is that I feel him pushing me to continue to tell of our struggles and joys for others to see and I ask you to help me spread this message.  Please help me spread the message by sharing my blog with others that you know.  God has a plan for Sarah and I and we are going to do our best to show our faith in his word.

5 Things Worth Your Money in Chicago!

Everyone has their lists on what are the best attractions and best places to visit or see in a city.  This past weekend Sarah and I spent four days touring one of our favorite cities by traveling up to Chicago to explore the Windy City.  Chicago can often be an expensive city and some of the experiences or attractions may not be worth their cost. Below you find our top five places that we thought gave us the most bang for our buck and were well worth the money spent in Chicago.

1. DIVVY Bikes ($7 a person for 24 hours)
Sarah and I were roaming around the city and discussed renting bikes for the day.  Not wanting to spend the $45 a person for four hours, we decided to give the local DIVVY Bikes a try.  These bikes are rented out for short trips around the city.  The bikes cost $7 for a 24 hour period and there are docking stations for the bikes all around the city.  The only catch to the bike is that you can only have them out for 30 minutes at a time before being charged and additional $2 per hour.  The bikes are great for hopping around the city to see the sights.  We started with our bikes down around Buckingham Fountain and rode them up to a docking station by the Navy Pier.  We continued this pattern throughout the day biking to different sites, including our hotel, to see the city and get around without spending money on a cab.  I would recommend these bikes to anyone who wants to see as much of the city as they can in an short time without having to pay for a taxi.  These bikes were definitely work the $14 it cost for the two of us that day!

2. Wishbone Restaurant 1001 W. Washington Blvd. ($15-$17 a person with tip)
This is an absolutely amazing spot for brunch with friends!  While in Chicago, our friend recommended Wishbone as a great place for a Saturday morning brunch.  We were not disappointed!! First of all, the setting was perfect.  We sat outside watching people walk by with their dogs and restaurant goers enter and leave as we enjoyed great service and great food.  The portions were HUGE!!  This was our first meal of the day and our bellies were filled to capacity that we did not eat again until late that evening around 7pm.  Sarah and I both chose the omelets that our waiter raved about while his bodacious smile and TV like personality....I had the Savannah Shrimp Omelet with ham and Sarah enjoyed the Spinach Omelet.  The omelets came with a huge serving of home fries and toast.  I know everyone has their favorite breakfast spot when it comes to the city, but I guarantee that it is worth the time to head to the Near West Side of the city to visit Wishbone. 

 

3. Chicago Architecture Tour ($30 for Adults, $15 for Kids)
One of the great ways to see the city is riding along the Chicago River in a boat on the architecture tour.  We took this tour last summer while visiting the city and were blown away at the beauty and history of the buildings in Chicago.  The guides are very knowledgeable about the various buildings and give you a unique perspective of a different angle you often do not see.  While in Chicago this weekend, we saw boats full of people taking the tour on a wonderful sunny afternoon.  As we simply walked the city this year, we still found ourselves reflecting on the various buildings we saw on the tour last year and the unique facts we had learned about the buildings on the tour .  For example, we learned the Hard Rock Hotel building we stayed in was designed like a champagne bottle at the top with a gold pillar reaching to the sky.  The 75 minute tour of the city is definitely worth your time and money as a fun way to see the amazing architectural features that Chicago has to offer.

4. Millennium Park ($ Free!!)
Many people know Millennium Park for the Bean shown above and Buckingham Fountain.  A stay is Chicago is not complete without taking some time to stroll through Millennium Park and all that it has to offer for both kids and adults.  For the younger ones, there is the Bean where you can see your reflections in 100 different ways, there are the water pillars which is a virtual water park in the city where kids can play and cool off on a hot day, and there are open fields to play and run freely.  For the adults, the Bean is always a cool place for us to visit and along with the sights of the skyline and Lake Michigan, there are many vibrant outdoor restaurants to stop by and quench your thirst.  This weekend was the Taste of Chicago, which was a free event with concerts and events all weekend long.  Throughout Millennium Park and the Taste were local vendors in which you could purchase tickets to dive into all of the wonderful samples Chicago has to offer.  There are events like these always happening in the park which makes it a must see while in the city.

 

 

5. A View of the City ($$$ Priceless)

When you think of seeing a view of the city, most people often think of the John Hancock Building or the Willis Tower.  While these are great for many, I think they are often overrated and overpriced places that do not give you the bang for your buck that many other sites in the city can for a unique perspective and view.  Over the past few summers, Sarah and I have been finding great places to see the city from and they have often not cost us a dime.  One of our first trips, we took the elevator ride up to  the Signature Room at the Hancock building.  Being young and in love at the time, we thought was the romantic thing to do.....$25 and two drinks later we were stuck in the middle of the room with no view of the city.  However we have found our more special moments have been at places like the Lincoln Park Zoo standing on the bridge looking back at the city, or even simply standing at the end of the Navy Pier looking back at the view.  This year we were fortunate to stay with a friend whose building had a deck at the 29th floor looking out over Millennium Park and Lake Michigan (and for those of you in your 30s and remember "Adventures in Babysitting," a great view of the Crain Communications Building or Diamond Building.)  The picture above does not do the view justice, but it was an amazing way to see the city.  So I challenge you to look for a different way to see the city and the skyline without busting your budget to pay to ride up one of the commercial buildings in the city.

 

I know there are many other great places that are worth your money in Chicago and I would love to hear about them. Post a comment below with a place you think is worth your time and money in the City.  I can't wait to find some new spots to visit in the future!!